乾炒牛河 Beef? I like beef. Chow? Well hell yes, I love to eat. Fun? They don't call me Partytime Violet for nothing. Well, I guess nobody really calls me that unless it's written on a bathroom wall that I don't know about. I sure hope it isn't. I'm actually a bit of a homebody. I don't even really like parties. They're so loud and I hate making trivial conversation. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, beef chow fun (pronounced foon). Ho Fun noodles, also known as shahe fen noodles, are beautiful and chewy Chinese rice noodles originating from Guangzhou, China. The trick with these noodles is that they are very delicate. A quick soak in warm water and then a fast stir fry in a hotter than hell wok. It's all in the wrist action. I know what you're thinking and it's not my fault you have a dirty mind, you dirty bird you. Why does wrist action always equate to masturbation? Just curious. I swear you say something like "I beat off that prowler with some swift wrist action." I am simply talking about how adept I am at defending my home with a bow and arrow. That's all. Show some class and quit thinking so pervertedly. Okay, I forgive you. No harm no foul.
In an attempt to temporarily get your filthy mind out of the gutter in which it resides, let's talk about some fat meaty beef. I purchased some lovely Thundering Hooves boneless beef short ribs from the awesome butcher Rain Shadow Meats. The meat was a beautiful shade of blood red with a treasure trove of delicious fatty marbling. I marinated it in a little soy sauce, garlic, ginger, fermented black bean sauce, and sugar for about an hour. I then seared it of on my trusty grill pan over pretty high heat just to get some color and smoke out the entire apartment building. Upon nearly choking to death because of my terrible lack of ventilation, I moved it to the oven with a little lemongrassy beef stock and slow braised it for about a few hours. The meat was falling apart and so stinking tasty I almost died and went to heaven. The sugars had caramelized and the garlic and ginger permeated throughout. It was slightly sweet and salty and sticky and umami. It was so good I wanted to shoot it into my veins and I'm terrified of needles, that's just how good it was. The chow fun noodles were chewy and had the perfect texture. This dish made me sweat a little but the spice was just hot enough for me. I don't like to eat food so spicy that it kills my taste buds. The next time you have a Chinese noodle craving make some beef chow fun.
Ginger Beef Short Rib Chow Fun
1 package (1 lb) fresh chow fun noodles (or shahe fen noodles)
1 lb boneless beef short ribs
1 Tbsp dark soy sauce
1 Tbsp fermented black bean chili sauce
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 Tbsp ginger minced
1 Tbsp cornstarch
1 egg white
1 Tbsp peanut oil
1/2 cup beef stock (add a few slices of ginger)
1 Tbsp dark soy sauce
1/4 tsp Sugar
1 Tbsp dry Chinese rice wine
1 Tbsp Oyster sauce
1/2 tsp white pepper
Chinese parsley or fresh coriander to garnish
Preheat oven to 250. Mix the marinade ingredients together and marinate the beef refrigerated for 1 hour. Heat the beef stock in a shallow pan with a few slices of ginger. In a hot grill pan quickly sear all sides of the beef ribs. Place the beef ribs into the beef stock pan and place in the oven for 2 1/2 hours or until the beef is falling apart.
Cut the chow fun into noodles about 6" noodles. When the beef is done let it rest at room temperature for 10 minutes and then slice thinly.
Heat a wok or large nonstick saute pan and add 2 T of the peanut oil. Toss the noodles in the oil until they are very hot and begin to color just a bit on the edges. Remove to a plate and set aside.
Mix all of the chow fun sauce in a bowl. Set aside.
To the wok add a little more of the peanut oil. Add the garlic and ginger and celery and green onions and saute for 2-3 minute. Then add the black bean sauce and the rice wine. Cook for 2 more minutes and add the sliced beef and chow fun noodles. Add the sauce and stir fry for a few more minutes. Remove to a platter or bowls and garnish. Take out your fanciest pair of chopsticks and enjoy with a nice cold Tsingtao.