Thursday, October 1, 2015

The Cult of Bacon.


Hello friends and enemies. In my last post, The Sea is your Cure, I wrote about the greasy fingered dangers of an all fried food and whiskey diet. Sure, you need healthy-ish things in your mouth once in a while but lets not get fanatical or anything. I hope I didn't scare you all into an quinoa and kelp diet. I'd rather die a happy, slightly crunchy life than a sad life of exercise and crying. It's all about some sort of balance. If you eat triple bacon cheeseburgers a few day in row perhaps chill out a little and only have single bacon cheeseburgers the next few days. Balance. It's the key to life.

So anyways, bacon and tater tots. The two power foods at the top of the food pyramids. You need them to survive. I heard from the tv that tater tots and bacon, when cooked correctly, can grant you super strength similar to the powers you gain when ingesting pcp. Now, I don't know the science behind it but it was on tv so it's obviously true.

I really wanted pcp super strength so I made Bacon Wrapped Tater Tots with Smokey Three Cheese Sour Cream Dip. Take a frozen tot. Wrap bacon around it until it overlaps. Cut the bacon. Repeat. Fill a tray sheet while the oven preheats to 425F degrees. Bake for 20-25 minutes until the bacon is cooked through and the tots look crispy. I know that your first instinct will be to grab them straight out of the oven with your bare hands and shove them into you mouth hole but PLEASE LISTEN TO ME. They will melt your face and tongue to the base of your teeth. Let them cool a minute. I can't say I didn't warn you.

For the dip I melted 1 TBSP butter in a pot over medium heat and whisked in 1 TBSP flour and made a roux. Cooked it for 2mins. Whisked in 1 cup of heavy cream. Added a large handful of shredded aged white cheddar, a big handful of grated manchego (Parmesan would work too), and a medium sized chunk of Point Reyes blue cheese. Whisked until the cheese melted and the sauce thickened. Added salt and pepper and some smoked paprika. Then I whisked in a bunch of sour cream. Yum.

This dish is one of the best things to ever reach my stomach. I dream about it. I now belong to the cult of the bacon tot. You will too. Join us...


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