Adventures of Fried Chicken and Pork Fat in The City of Roses.

Portland Oregon is delicious. This past weekend my bestie Lucille and I took a kamikaze road trip to the lovely city of Portland for Rose City Comic Con. There was lots of cosplay and comics and oh yes, lots of tasty food. We packed up the rental Mini Coup with our costumes and beef jerky and headed out bright and early (so frickin' early) Sunday morning. Before we even made it to the highway I decided I need Mcdonalds breakfast (my addiction to fast food is my business) consisting of sausage and cheese biscuit sandwiches and an ungodly amount of their crack filled hashbrowns. I was fueled up and ready to rock (perhaps it was the gallon of Coke I drank). After a couple of hours of driving and singing Cure and Sisters of Mercy songs at the top of our lungs we finally arrived. We changed in a parking lot and stormed the convention center. I was dolled up as Death and Lucille was Dream, both from Neil Gaiman's Sandman. It was super fun.

After the con we checked into our fancy room at The Hotel Deluxe (one of my fave hotels). A quick fancy cocktail in their cute lounge the Driftwood Room (it was awesome until we got swarmed with a wedding party). Then off to dinner. I was famished.

Lardo: Sandwiches and pints of beer. Perfection. We both got the Porchetta sandwich. One of the best things I have ever put in my mouth. It was so simple: porchetta, caper mayo, gremolata, crusty bread. I took a bite as the grease ran down my arm and I squealed like a kitten. OMFG. Fatty porky goodness with salty caper and acidic herbs. I contemplated buying a few more to bring back to the hotel room but by the end I was so full I thought I had died and gone to pork fat heaven. I don't think Lucille and I spoke the entire time except for the occasional "mmmmm" and "Oh my god so good". The people next to us probably thought we were creepy as hell but I really didn't care. I was having a moment. There was only sandwich. I have now changed my religion to The Church of Sandwich. Oh yeah, we got some yummy pints of cider to wash it down. I dreamt of that thing all night long. Life will never be the same. I wonder if the kind folks at Lardo will mail me sandwiches? I must have them.

Pine State Biscuits: The next morning we headed out to Alberta street and lined up for one of my favorite breakfasts anywhere. The Reggie Deluxe is perfection on a plate and since I was still on my Gravy & Fried Meat Diet™ I could not come to Portland without eating at least one of these heavenly creatures. It starts with a perfect buttermilk biscuits sandwiched around deliciously moist and crunchy fried chicken, gooey cheese, salty fried egg, and a creamy and sausagey country gravy. We also ordered a side of more gravy to pour over the top which was a total win for us. "Goddamn that's fucking delicious!" Lucille exclaimed. She then yelled to the dudes cooking behind the counter "You guys are wizards!" They appreciated the comment. I fully agree. There must be some kind of black magic involved in such a perfect breakfast sandwich. Somebody's soul was sold for sure.

After drinking off the remaining gravy we went for a walk down Alberta and came across one the cutest little candy shoppes ever called Candy Babel. The lovely owner Amani Greer was so cheerful and sweet to us. We chatted and tried candy and had a brief but wonderful time. You must go there, she will definitely put a smile on even the saddest of goth faces and make you feel like the world is not completely lost. I got a bag of mixed gummi candies including grapefruits, peaches, chicken feet, brains, and worms. Lucille got a cute vintage tin and she threw in a free chocolate. So amazing. This place is so rad and needs to exist forever.

Portland was awesome as usual but as all fun things have to end so did our little mini-vacation. Besides, I was severely missing my adorables wife. We hopped in the car, blasted Birthday Massacre, drank energy drinks, and sped home. On the way we watched a car exploded into flames on the side of the road, made friends with a motorcycle guy who tailed us forever (we named him Derick), and most importantly, we stopped off at the strange little army base town of Lakewood, WA for some chicken.

Popeyes, Louisiana Kitchen is the bomb. Southern fast food at it's best. I had been craving Popeyes since the last time I stopped to get some over 10 years ago. Why did I wait so long? What the hell is wrong with me? So good. Spicy chicken strips, Cajun fries, buttery biscuits, and tons of different sauces. Oh yeah. It was as good as I remember it being. We finished up and rolled out the door tired and full. Mission accomplished. We safely arrived home and that night I dreamt about fried chicken and pork fat. Ya know, life aint' so bad sometimes. xoxo

Oh yeah, at one point during the trip we drank lots of hard ciders and ate a stale bag of Sabroso Pork Cracklings that came with a salsa packet. The guy from the minimart said he just watched a guy leave with a case of beer but he couldn't do anything about it. I said "That sucks, I'm sorry that happened". He said "It's okay, at least it's better than the other day when some mean guy came in and punched me in the face." Fair enough dude. I hope your week get's better.